AAAHHH!!!

Housesitting officially began today.


I am SO HAPPY. It's ridiculous.
This is home. I know it's home because it's the only place that feels so perfect.
And Jai and I have it all to our onesies until January.

=D

HAPPYFUNTIEMS!!

So it's 9 am and I'm sitting here in my rainbow thermal underwear, and one of Jai's black shirts, bopping about like a crazy woman to Florence and the Machine.

Louder than silence
Louder than bells
Sweeter than heaven
and harder than hell...




Now, if you don't mind, I'm off to bounce around like an idiot some more.

AAHHH!! =D

*Runs around wildly*

This house is like a bloody candy store!
Except, y'know... Not edible.

So I've been reading Misfile.
I had a bit of a lol thinking about how freaked out I'd be, waking up in a boy's body one day.
Then I thought about how Jai would react. I felt all warm and fuzzy when I realised that, other than probably being surprised and more than likely pleased, he wouldn't care. It wouldn't make a difference to him.

That's one of the reasons I love him... No matter who I am, what I am... He'll still love me.

*Turns into a puddle of goo*

My desktop as it is right now....




Also: I has cider. Nom nom nom.
Canneloni for dinner.

You know, I think it's really sweet when LJ friends look out for eachother.

Ahem. Anyway.

So I was up until 4 am cleaning lastnight.... I helped Jai flip our matress and drag it out into the hallway so w could clean up under the bed. It seems we missed some of Jess's stuff.... Lots of photos, some cigarette butts and a used condom.
Jai's "Candy" (little brightly coloured beads popular to raver culture, used to make bracelets and necklaces, and to adorn dreadlocks.) was everywhere under where my feet usually are. It was all mostly tissues and old reciepts, and a heap of old clothes I'd lost. He also found my copy of Apocalipstick and Thief of Time (Grant Morrisson and Terry Pratchett, respectively) and a collection of soft toys I love very much. We also found a frangipani stick which was unnervingly sticky. Like, viscous liquid sticky, not "What/s brown and sticky? A stick!" sticky.
We managed to split the mess between our two rooms. I am now convinced that there is some sort of space distortion under our bed which basically turns it into an odd-looking Bag of Holding.
I have a looooooot of cleaning to do.

What else....
Oh... My poor baby Roswell died. We finally found out what's been killing the kittens (Besides being premature/with defects) and have managed to treat it now. The others are fine but we were a little bit too late to save Roswell...
Jai hadn't been around to watch the other kittens die, so he was a little bit hysterical when Roswell died, because it wasn't very pretty and while the little kitten wasn't conscious and certainly not in any pain, it was an unpleasant thing to behold. It took a few hours to calm him down.
I never realised how much it could HURT to see someone you love hurting. Of everything, of all the kittens we've lost and the confusion we've felt in losing them, watching Jai sob like that was absolutely horrible.
He's relatively ok now though. He blames himself for Roswell's death, somehow thinking he could have helped sooner when he couldn't have.
Time heals all wounds, huh?

My hormones are messing up again. My period was three months late this time, instead of 10 days like last time. Perhaps it's time to go see my doc and ask "What the hell am I supposed to do now?" since she told me to wait and that they'd even out on their own. *grumbles*
No, I'm NOT a fan of paranoia. I have enough of that already, what with a fear to leave a house and that weird thing I've had about reflective surfaces since I was little and BEES and deep water... I don't need to spend my time worrying if I'm pregnant when I know that I can't be.
It doesn't just stress me out, it stresses Jai out as well.
*sigh*

Anyway.

I have so much cleaning to do. Epic proportions.
All with 3 hours sleep.

Bleh.


(PS: Loving shoutout to Kristine. That cuddle is still available should loneliness visit!)

(PPS: Daddy, I'm reading your travel blog, it's awesome and... Well, I'm totally not envious, the humid and the crowds don't appeal to me... But the photos look amazing and your posts are enjoyable to read. I miss you! <3)

I lol at Texas.

This question really irritates me.
Not because of the question itself but because of the responses from other people.
One of them listed great literary works to be banned because they promote "Atheist Propaganda".... Idiots.

I wouldn't ban anything from ever being read by anyone. It could be filthy, it could be questionable, it could be fake... But the point in life is to learn the difference and to actually think for yourself. Being spoon-fed baby food all your life, while easy to nom, is gonna give you trouble if someone hands you a steak.
Sure. Read the bible. Then go read some Darwin. Read some Stephanie Meyer and then read some Anne Rice. Look at Playboy, and browse Juxtapoz.
Hell. I read Lolita and it made me sick to my stomach. That's a GOOD thing. It shows me where I stand in my own mind, where I draw the line beween 'alright' and 'obscene'. That book also reminded me that the innocent aren't usually as innocent as they seem. A child, for example, can still be a manipulative whore.

Take away things that are 'wrong' and you'll end up braindead.

Anywho, I'm off to watch Harry Potter. =P

*Grin*
So I was going to whine about the rude idiot that's sitting in my sister-in-law's bedroom... But then I watched this.
I'll post about this, because it's awesome, and one should try to focus on the awesome things in life more than the irritating little things in life.

This kid. He is awesome.

I'm not in America. I don't need to be in America to appreciate the balls this kid has.
Future activist, perhaps?

In other news.... I had a lovely day with Daddy yesterday. We visited family, rode around on the bike, got rained on three times, had lunch, went shopping, bounced around being happy fools...
I'm so happy to be my father's daughter. I think I've got the best one in the world. <3
He flies out on Friday. I'm gonna miss him, but he'll be back in 2 months anyway. ^^

It amuses me when people use aliases online for 'internet security' while they have very clear pictures of themselves as userpics and their location (right down to street name) in their public LJ....
"Oh, no one's gonna find me because they don't know my name!!"

*sigh*

Oh, and a super happy birthday to my lovely stepmother, Kristine. <3

I would be brilliant.
I would shine, I would be amazing.
I would hold my own.
I would not be invisible...

That, or writing. I want to paint the world in words and break the hearts of even the most uncaring... Instill a thirst for knowledge in the sheep-people... Allow people to feel, for just a moment, not alone, or not themselves, or simply.... Feel, perhaps.
I want to change someone's world.

Yes.
Rent free? Oh yes.
Rent-free and haunted? Gimme the damn key!!

Or for Jonathan: Your Mother.


In other news, I believe I am developing a kink for suspenders/braces/whatever they're called. Strappy over-the-shoulder things that hold pants up.
Jai bought some today and day-mn, that boy is hot.

We were talking about the wedding/honeymoon today. Very slowly, very very slowly, things are falling into place. I can see the shape of it.
My problem is people who will blow the idea out of the water and I'll be left floundering again.
*sigh*

... One year.
Next year.
This time next year.
12 months.
12 months and I'll be married.

I have strawberries.

That is all.

Rawr!!

http://www.thefacesofus.com/

Epic.

Lover lover lover....

They're in my head now. The angel man, the lady-vamps, the bear skin-walker... The boy wolf.

I'd need brass balls to write them. Well, to do them justice, anyway.

..........

It's too tempting. I have to try.

I can resist everything but temptation.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH
BLOODYBITCHWHOREFACEMELTINGSLUTSACK!!!

My hotmail got hacked.
Email sent out to everyone.
Then all of my 240 msn contacts were deleted.

*RAGE*
*twitch*
*RAGE*

Half of those people I can't get back.
*pants*

Bastardfaced mongrels.

I have been awake 18 minutes after an extremely rude awakening from Jai's sister and Anthony.
Imagine waking up to an incredibly high pitched, incredibly nasal, incredibly LOUD "AAAAIIGGH!!! WHich kitten is that? THAT'S NOT FALCON! Ohmigod which kitten is that?"

.... I want to slam her head in the refridgerator door. -.-

Yeas, this is me after being badly woken up. Be thankful I'm venting on LJ and not in real life.
*sigh*

I realised today that I have a real need to be protected and looked after. It is almost a disability.... I *need* To feel safe, or I break down, withdraw.

For this I create little safety blankets. People, things, places, ways of acting, words to say.
Jai is one such safety blanket. Obviously he is so much more, but as my beloved, he's also my protector.
Jenny was a safety blanket too.
Staring anywhere but at a person I've just met... wrapping my arms around myself. Saying "Oh wow" or "heh" every third sentence.
Never leaving the house.
Hopping from one safe place or person to another.

Being somewhere I feel 'unsafe' even if I'm in a place with guards, or family, or nice people.... It is horrible to be unsafe..
It can make me burst into tears or simply walk away when it's not appropriate.

This is something I need to work on.

I feel rather like a coward.
I could get myself all ready to head into the world all by my onesy, and then stop outside the front door or at the top of the driveway, unable to move any further. No matter what pressing matter or which words I say to spur myself to move... Nothing is strong enough. I get stuck. I go back inside and I wait for safety-blanket company.

Alfred Cove is one massive safe zone.
It seems November-December will be months of action... Breaking open this shell I've built around myself.
Sort of like learning to walk in a padded room, instead on a tiny bridge over a great gaping chasm filled with spikes.

Ugh. I loathe irrational fears. I really do.

In other news, we have five strawberries on our strawberry plant. ^^

So.
Um.
I checked my email... at 3 am, as you do...
I have this email from some wonderful guy.... I'm still buzzing and giggly about it.

I really hope he doesn't mind me posting it... >.>

Anyway, the email:

Hi there you don't know me and I really have no idea who you are but I was directed to your live blog (accidentally?) while en route to a fave gaming site of mine and something about it caught my eye. I started reading what you'd written there and had two instant reactions and one long dawning realisation: erm, if I may:
Instant reaction 1: your command of language and commincation is one of the most natural I have ever been exposed to; the way you say what you mean and mean what you say astounded me right away.
Instant reaction 2: honesty is not truth in my small view, as honesty is the colored lens through which we choose to portray truth while truth does not change, is not able to be colored, does not vary from person to person. You are honest in your portrayal of truth, and I found the bits of your life so exposed and exposéd to be endearing and a tad scary and absolutely lovely.
Long dawning realisation: it must be incredible just knowing you.
I have been wrestling with some very personal issues lately, a front-runner among them being a general disgust and distrust of my fellow man. THANK you for being you - for being one of the most human beings I've never had the pleasure of knowing for a long long while. Again, you don't know me and I really have no idea who you are, but I love you. You are a fellow human who has given this jaded and forgotten person hope. If it were summertime still (sigh), you would be a tall ice-tickled glass of pink lemonade awaiting my dry lips... with a pair of plastic vampire teeth hung on the lip for color, of course.
Seriously.
You.
Awesome human being.
Thank you.


.....
I suddenly feel so warm and fluffy and happy and ridiculous. XD

... Oh squee. <3

I am still alive!
Kinda.
Somewhat sick.

Sooooo we have the photos of Pride and Kittens on the computer now, but no internet with which to upload them. (I'm on the hiptop. Dinky little thing.)
They will be uploaded wheeeennn we have the net back.

See Jai's cool portrait photography.

*stretchyawn*

Oh yes. I've been gone so long because I've discovered a love of woodwork. Yay for burning and sawing and sanding! ^^

Oh, and Masquerade. Three games running at the same time... >.> Tremere, Nosferatu and Gangrel, for a change. I'm getting pangs for Malkavian, but it's not as fun (and slightly worrying) when you can understand the Malkavian lines better than the plain english.

I confront them. Always.

Also: Salem chose lastnight to show me how much she loves me by dumping all her kittens on us. We didn't mind so much... We moved them back to their bed when we went to sleep.
Then at 5 am, she did the same thing.
I had fallen asleep only 15 minutes before that.

Needless to say, moving the kittens etc. just makes her bring them back and be more persistent, so.. Yeah. I haven't slept.

In other news, Ashlea is in big trouble for throwing things uder the couch.
We lost our 8th kitten thanks to her laziness.